Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Everybody Poos

Yesterday, when I went to the bathroom to pee in the late morning, there was a woman at the sink finishing up washing her hands, so I figured that once I got into the stall and ready to go, she'd be gone. Not so. Instead, she proceeded to rummage through her purse while humming/talking to herself. I understand the need to mess around with your shit before you leave the bathroom, but there is a powder room(?) before the actual bathroom that is made for that purpose. Why could she have not used that? I was distressed, but despite that, I was able to pee. She left before I exited the stall.

Fast forward to 4:30. I had to poo. It wasn't a particularly pressing need, but I walk about two miles after work, and I'd rather not have to haul around a full load with me. The same woman was at the sinks of the bathroom. She seems to be further along in whatever it she does, so I enter the stall. She seems to be heavily involved in searching for something in the purse, accompanied by humming/talking at a crescendo. I grow concerned. This is not a mere urine situation; there is poo involved. I take my time getting situated in the stall. I wait. I have to pee anyways, so I let that go. I wait. She is still rummaging/humming/talking. I wait. I wait. I cannot perform with an audience, so I exit the stall and proceed to wash my hands. Slowly. Very Slowly. This woman then proceeds to start wiping down the entire sink/counter area that she has been occupying. Of what, I do not know. I saw nothing to wipe up, but who knows. Finally, she leaves. At that point, I was in the midst of drying my hands at the slowest possible rate I could muster. Once I hear the second set of doors close, I get back into the stall and handle my business.

Things I am strangely curious about:
1. What was she looking for in her purse at multiple points in the day? I can only assume it was the same item, but if she had trouble finding it in the morning, why the continued loss in the afternoon?
2. Why did she have to wipe down the counter? I saw no spillage of anything. Additionally, it was not simply the immediate area around the sink she was occupying. She definitely infringed on areas belonging to the adjacent sinks. (I was two sinks away.)
3. For someone with such lingering public bathroom behavior, why have I never seen her before? Judging from her color-blind-pajamaesque ensemble, she definitely doesn't work for the super-businessy things that we share the floor with, so I can only assume she is with the labor union that is also on this floor.*

Do these laborers/wives of/associates of laborers not understand protocol?** It is in and out in the minimum time needed to achieve sanitary/satisfactory conditions. No lingering is necessary. Needless to say, it was a very stressful poo. Very unsatisfactory. :(

* Which, curiously, has actually had it's lights on for the last few days. After a year in this building, I have only seen the lights on maybe four times.
** I realize my using the term "laborer" seems elitist, but that's only because I don't want to give away where I work. I love those who labor. They are awesome.

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