Tuesday, July 31, 2007

SRT #48

I hate public bathrooms. Why are the bodily functions involving the most vulnerability on public display? I'm not leaving stall doors open or anything, but my GOD, can I just get some alone time? I don't need to hear someone else's stream of pee nor the plop of their poo; and if I can hear them, they can hear me. Worst feeling EVER. Ugh. So gross.

Is there a reason why the stalls can't extend from the floor to the ceiling? Was there a shortage of materials? This design flaw accounts for much of my reluctance to use public bathrooms. If these things were turned into actual rooms, I'd be much happier. In addition to the sound aspect, it removes the possibility of being identified via the shoes; and with shoes as bright as some of mine are, this is a very real danger. I can only imagine the ramifications:

FELLOW URINATOR: Someone with bright green shoes was peeing for literally seven minutes. What did she drink and why was it all coming out at once?
URINATOR'S CO-WORKER: What a freakshow.
5 PM at the elevator
FELLOW URINATOR: *whispers* Look! It's the freakshow.
URINATOR'S CO-WORKER: Strange. She doesn't look like a sponge.
ME: :(
So I've never actually peed for seven minutes, but sometimes it really felt like it.* In any case, I do not like that I can be identified during a time that no one needs to be witnessing. I get pee-shy. Don't judge me.

* That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

ADDENDUM: In discussing the remodeling of offices today, my boss mentioned that he can hear the toilets in the women's bathroom from our small library. I. am. so. self-conscious.


Anonymous said...

I think with your sense of humor you would really enjoy this picture: http://pizdaus.com/pics/m1nlW8rx54kw.jpg

(it's SFW, etc)

Anonymous said...

this post is mad funny. lol. i agree with the shoes thing because i've def judged people outside the bathroom after hearing them letting loose the crazy diarrhea in the stall right next to me. ewwwwww. i want rooms for stalls damnit!