I Need To Decide My Life Soon

I'm feeling especially bloggy today, and my brother posted a link to a career placement something or other that I just finished. Here's my top ten plus highlights:

1. Desktop Publisher
2. Lobbyist
3. Animator
4. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator
5. Criminologist
6. Gerontologist
7. Fashion Designer
8. Probation / Parole Officer
9. Director of Photography
10. Set Designer

12. Addictions Counselor
14. Clergy
21. Critic
25. Translator
33. Marriage and Family Therapist
37. Sport Psychology Consultant
39. Politician

Some of these are actually quite hilarious. Clergy?! Really, after God's recent treatment of me, I THINK NOT. I guess I'd enjoy being a translator, if not for that pesky lack of multilingual skills. Parole officer? Criminals scare me. It doesn't matter if you're a rapist or a billionaire humanitarian serving time for avenging his murdered family. I don't care if you did really hard time or spent it dancing to Sister Act music. I'm crossing the street if I know you did time. I know this is a sort of terrible/bigoted stance, but that's how it is. Some of these really are absurd. The most, however, must be Addiction Counselor. It is only my fear of criminals that has kept me from finding new and exciting addictions. I have quite the addictive personality. It can only be attributed to divine intervention that I never picked up some terrible drug habit, a lifestyle which was quite available to me.

Hm, perhaps this divine intervention is the cause for God's spite? Have I never thanked Him (Her? Shim?) for the guidance away from addictions more terrible than shoes? If not, I'd like to post an official THANK YOU for such aid. I appreciate it, I really do. I mean, if all my money went to drugs, how could I afford these?

ADDENDUM
I was about to hit publish, when I reached inside of my jacket pocket and found the Vanilla Mint Coffee lip balm that I thought I had lost a while ago. THANKS, GOD! YOU'RE AWESOME!

ADDENDUM #2
Another reason for thanks: My hair is kinda awesome today. I didn't put any product in it post straightening, and yet it's super awesome. Like, suprisingly awesome. It's perfectly floppy without being out of control. :D Thanks, God!