Wednesday, October 10, 2007

So Long...

Originally uploaded by cadilag
...tourists of DC. The official tourist season was over a couple of weeks ago, but I haven't gathered the energy to give an official goodbye until now. Instead, I focused much of my energy in rejoicing their departure. Not only is my afternoon walk much easier in terms of navigation, but it is infinitely easier on the eyes as well. Do you see what I had to look at on a regular basis?

DO YOU SEE?! Terrible, I know. It's one thing to dress up an entire sixth grade class in the same ugly tshirt for keeping track of the dumb children, but it is quite another for tourist/demon couples to dress alike. Why would they do this to themselves? It's just terrible. Even more importantly, why would they do this to me? It hurts my face beyond measure.

The only thing that can rival my annoyance towards tourists is my hatred of the summer interns. I don't CARE that you work in some senator's office. I REALLY DON'T. And if you were so proud of your position (as resident copy maker), perhaps you would not run around your nation's capitol in flip flops. This is not an appropriate footwear choice. The worst offence of the summer intern, however, is the use of security badge as accessory. Some people declare status with awesome shoes or the latest super expensive purse. These children use security badges to establish the pecking order.

Alpha Intern: Oh, you work for a representative? Well I work for a SENATOR. Suck on that.

::Beta Intern curls up into the corner and cries::

These are not a legitimate accessory. They are large and ugly and really are only good for getting past the guards or making it easier for that serial killer in the corner to catch your name and track you down.

Serial Killer: It puts the lotion on its skin.

Intern: Um, is this Creme de la Mer? My dad buys me Creme de la Mer. Could you get me some? I'm allergic to this stuff.*

I don't like the summer interns. If only this fate could befall them all.

* Also, I fucking hate it when people claim allergies at stuff they simply don't like. Just say you don't like it. Christ, you're hard to deal with.

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