Nice Day For A Barbeque

With my love for shoes (and by recent extension, clothes) and people watching, it's not a surprise that I'm a fan of The Sartorialist. It's always good to see well-dressed people gallivanting about. There are a number of sartorialist-esque sites for various cities. The Facehunter has what seems to be a pretty comprehensive list. Apparently, Philadelphia has it's very own site: Faceadelphia. That's clever, isn't it? Faces + Philadelphia = Facedelphia! Super clever, I know. Here's the thing: I am unimpressed. Some of these photos are just plain wrong. Take this picture for example:

Warning - Do not look directly into the screen, or you may suffer permanent damage.

My first reaction is:

Demon! WITCH! BURN IT!

I don't think this is an unreasonable reaction. Look at that track suit! Did she use her wayback machine to pinch this from (let's say) 1992 and consequently destroy approximately 20,983,409,857 of my eye cells? I'm sorry, there are just too many wrong things happening here. It almost makes me ashamed of my own (beautiful) collection of Nikes. I feel as though while she was wandering around 1992, she hitched a ride from Philly to Kentucky, broke into an inbred's home, rooted through the clothes that the owners don't even wear anymore, and barely escaped being blown full of buckshot back into the present day. On the way back to Philly, she apparently raided a rest stop for a new t-shirt and took great pains to find the worst sneakers to wear with her prize. My heart weeps for Nike.* And the sunglasses! Oh, GOD, the sunglasses. I hope the only reason she's wearing these is to spare us the consequence of turning to stone, lest we actually look into her eyes. Fortunately, I can't even bring myself to look directly at this picture, so there will be no stone turning for me.

This is a sin against eyes. It should not be celebrated; it should be burnt.


* I took it out of storage for this occasion.