Thursday, March 23, 2006

Dirty Mind

I've been told on many occasions that I have a dirty mind, and I admit that there are many instances where I see sexual references where there is none. For example, when people discuss how much they love to eat sushi, I can't help but giggle. This is especially funny when the sushi will be eaten on a date:

MY FRIEND: So I'm taking this girl out tonight. I think I want to have sushi for dinner tonight.
ME: *uncontrollable giggles* Sushi and vaginas are the same thing. You're having vaginas for dinner! *insert more giggling*
MY FRIEND: . . .dumbass. . .

I know it's childish/immature, but dammit, it's funny! The main problem with this aspect of my character is when something comes up in the workplace. For example, I've been assembling giant reference binders for a few days now, and I happened to find a new binder that still had its original insert (giggle) in the front:
Innocuous, isn't it? Just a picture of someone opening the binder rings. However, upon closer inspection, I found that this particular binder is made for whores:

"TRY ME! I'm Finger Friendly" Is that not an invitation to manual stimulation? I think it is. Look at that finger just casually pushing on the button. In addition to this, the binder is named Easy Open! Am I the only one who sees that not only is this binder aimed towards sluts, but manufactured by them as well?! After realizing all of these things, I could not stop laughing. This gets to be a problem, especially as I sit right in front of the elevator:

CO-WORKER: What’s so funny?
ME: *painful laughter* I…can’t…*snort*…sluts…binders…*more painful laughter*
CO-WORKER: . . .dumbass. . .

This inability to ignore even the slightest sexual innuendo will (most likely) be my downfall. But at least I’ll have a good laugh on the way down.*

*HA. It reads as if I’ll be going down on someone. Don't ever think that I would miss that.

1 comment:

E said...

Patient: "Frankly, I'm tired of all the sexual inuendo"

The Todd: "...In YOUR Endo"