Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Yes, Mr. Weingarten, I Do Want Your Advice

I like to keep up with my Washington Post columns, and this week's Post Magazine has an excellent one from Gene Weingarten. This is for everyone in their twenties who's a little bit lost. I've included some excerpts below, and the entire column can be found here.
For the rest of your life, you will remain locked into whatever music you currently listen to. Trust me, it happens to everyone. It happened to me. Given the quality of popular music of the 1960s, I am fine. Given the quality of popular music of the 2000s, you are toast. Suggestion: Get a job as a jackhammer operator, wear no ear protection, go deaf. At least your taste in music won't make you a source of contemptuous merriment to your children, the way my parents were to me.

Cleanse your language of certain callow affectations common to your generation, for they will not serve you well later in life. I, for example, employed the word "groovy" well into my twenties, until I once used it as a panelist on a TV political talk show, while discussing the sociopolitical ramifications of a gubernatorial veto. The studio audience actually laughed. In your case, when being interviewed about your nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court, you do not want to say, "I was, like, 'No way,' and the president goes, 'For realz, yo,' and . . ."

Practice preemptive temperance. You know how you can get completely wasted one night, and the next morning you're okay? Well, one day, that won't be true anymore. And I mean "one day." This change will occur, literally, overnight, and you will discover it too late, as I did, when I arrived for work unshaven, with mismatched shoes, on a Saturday.

This is vital information for our generation. If you decide to read the entire article, you'll find that much of the advice is specific to men, so guys, take heed and keep that prostate gland in control. A Wal-Mart was not meant to occupy the same space as a walnut.

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