Friday, February 02, 2007

Don't Touch Me

Why do stupid people insist on adding random X's and O's to their screen names? Yes, I understand that you really want your name to be "aznprydgurl," but at least 65,575 other unoriginal bitches have taken it, resulting in the creation of the names aznprydgurl1 - aznprydgurl65575. Other popular versions include multiple uses of the number 69, i.e. aznprydgurl6969, 69aznprydgurl69, and even aznprydgurl6[]9.¹ I am not a fan of strings of unmemorable numbers after a screen name, but nothing is worse than the endless X's and O's all over the fucking place.

In Hallmark tradition, X's and O's are equivalent to kisses and hugs, respectively. I have NO desire to hug or kiss you. I find you bitchy, judgemental,² and at least a little bit slutty. I refuse to succumb to your online hiv just because of your inability to come up with something at least remotely original. I do not require your screen name to be something new and exciting. There is no mandate for displaying Mozart levels of creativity. Just find something better than adding in random letters to an already stupid screen name.

What I hate most about this activity is that you can pretty much assume the user is an AZN.³ Why must my people insist on making me hate them?

¹ The [] symbolizes the body pillow used to seperate the 6 from the 9. Make room for the Holy Spirit!
² Judgemental in a bad way, not in my fun and entertaining way. Jerk.
³ NOT Asian.

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