SRT #60

My phone/alarm clock BETRAYED me this morning and did not go off. I woke up at the time I need to be walking out the door in order to catch the last bus. So I just called in saying I would work from home today, and I actually did do some work. New and exciting, I know. In celebration of this momentous occasion, I played TF2. The End.

Must...Be...Physically Active...

While procrastinating today, I stumbled upon an article on msn.com with the headline: Why Every Woman Should Strength Train. I think there is something wrong with me, as my first thought was: In preparation for the zombies? I really do not have the stamina/strength to survive when the zombies come. It's going to be a problem.

ADDENDUM: Shit!

New Super Random Feature

I've taken to listening to my entire song library on album shuffle lately as opposed to sticking to my various playlists. This has brought me the joy of rediscovering albums that I totally loved, but had forgotten about. Today's old/new album is:

Who is Jill Scott? Words and Sounds Vol. 1

This is awesome. I suggest that everyone listen through.

Do you want it on your rice and gravy? I do, Jill. I really do.

SRT #59

I've finally committed myself to the application process. I've asked for recommendations and shit, which means I have to do it. I'm much more productive when something is expected of me as opposed to just expecting something of myself. In most situations, painting myself into a corner is the only way for me to get anything done. Sad, but true.

So one of my professors wants to meet with me to discuss these plans. She's asked me to bring in a copy of my resume, an unofficial transcript, and a career statement. The problem is the fucking career statement. I am still blank on what to write. Is it acceptable to bring in something like:

Dear School,
I want a career that enables the buying of extravagant shoes with no financial worries and worldwide gallivanting. Let me in. I will make it happen. I'll be your best friend forever!
<3,
Catherine

Somehow, I don't think that's going to cut it. Anyways, I'll perhaps go to Philly this Friday or next Monday for this meeting. It's time to man up and do something productive. Hopefully, I can whip up something awesome, or something barely sufficient to get me into a school. Either way, I'm OK with it.

The New Crack

So TF2 is fucking awesome. Unfortunately, I also got it halfway through the month of XBox Live that I paid for, and Halo 3 sits alone with no one to play with. After getting acclimated to TF2, I tried to play Halo last night, and I have realized: shit is boring. I never really realized how much time you spend just looking for someone to kill. And really, why is Master Chief so slow? A fucking Heavy moves faster than that, and he's carrying Sasha all over the place with him all the time.* So what is Master Chief's problem? He has no excuse for such slowness. My adoration of Halo 3 has diminished significantly. A mere whisper of what it once was. I don't think I'll play it much anymore, which is probably a good thing.

Unfortunately for me, TF2 is infinitely more addicting. The pace is so much faster that it's obscene how easily you lose track of the time. I was planning to play a little bit before going to bed last night, and suddenly, it was 1 AM. How did that happen?** Le sigh. It's probably a bad thing that I got this game. My friends thought I was getting pretty anti-social when Halo 3 came out. And then I got this. Here's an example of how I have problems battling addictions, especially when new and exciting:

Scene: Happy Hour at Lotus
K Street, between 14th and 15th Streets
Friend: So we're all going to 18th Street Lounge after this, you're coming, right?
Me: Uh, I have plans.
Friend: Oh, where are you going?
Me: Home. TEAM FORTRESS 2!!!!111!!!!11!!***
Friend: ...
Me: Hey, those heavies aren't just gonna buff themselves! Someone has to do it.
Friend: ...
Me: What?
Friend: Why are you such a loser?
Me: Because it's awesome.

I think I have my priorities straight. It's the WORLD that is crazy.


* Sasha is no joke, she can crush you.
** It's not a good idea for me to play video games before going to sleep. I dream that shit and wake up whenever I die, so it is especially non-restful when I dream TF2.
*** Yes, I was looking forward to it that much.

Super Impatient

Why does Team Fortress 2 take so long to install? :(

24 minutes 39 seconds remaining!

So Long...

DSC_0832
Originally uploaded by cadilag

...tourists of DC. The official tourist season was over a couple of weeks ago, but I haven't gathered the energy to give an official goodbye until now. Instead, I focused much of my energy in rejoicing their departure. Not only is my afternoon walk much easier in terms of navigation, but it is infinitely easier on the eyes as well. Do you see what I had to look at on a regular basis?

DO YOU SEE?! Terrible, I know. It's one thing to dress up an entire sixth grade class in the same ugly tshirt for keeping track of the dumb children, but it is quite another for tourist/demon couples to dress alike. Why would they do this to themselves? It's just terrible. Even more importantly, why would they do this to me? It hurts my face beyond measure.

The only thing that can rival my annoyance towards tourists is my hatred of the summer interns. I don't CARE that you work in some senator's office. I REALLY DON'T. And if you were so proud of your position (as resident copy maker), perhaps you would not run around your nation's capitol in flip flops. This is not an appropriate footwear choice. The worst offence of the summer intern, however, is the use of security badge as accessory. Some people declare status with awesome shoes or the latest super expensive purse. These children use security badges to establish the pecking order.

Alpha Intern: Oh, you work for a representative? Well I work for a SENATOR. Suck on that.

::Beta Intern curls up into the corner and cries::

These are not a legitimate accessory. They are large and ugly and really are only good for getting past the guards or making it easier for that serial killer in the corner to catch your name and track you down.

Serial Killer: It puts the lotion on its skin.

Intern: Um, is this Creme de la Mer? My dad buys me Creme de la Mer. Could you get me some? I'm allergic to this stuff.*

I don't like the summer interns. If only this fate could befall them all.

* Also, I fucking hate it when people claim allergies at stuff they simply don't like. Just say you don't like it. Christ, you're hard to deal with.

SRT #58

I held in a sneeze for the first time ever over the weekend. All the energy exploded in (what I assume is) my sinus cavity. That shit fucking hurts, why do people do this on purpose?

FYI: From what I understand, I am capable of particularly loud sneezes for someone of my size. It's hereditary. My grandfather, for example, could be heard from across the street while deep within the house, and my mother's sneezes make me want to hit the ground in case the bullets come through the windows.

Bonus FYI: I've never had sinus problems and, if I am remembering correctly from various commercials, the sinus cavity is at the top of the nose. So I'm guessing that's where the explosion occurred. It really fucking hurt. I cannot emphasize that enough.

SR(Who Cares When I Do This, Really?) #57

So I missed a day; sue me. Actually, don't. I have important places my money needs to go. My closet, for example. Anyways, I delayed because no topics to write about entered my mind. "But, Catherine," you ask, "your mind is normally empty no matter the scenario. How was this week any different?" Well, I'm lazy. I don't know what to tell you. That seemed as good an excuse as any, and now it's ruined. RUINED!¹ So I will simply go through the notes I keep on my phone. Occasionally, I'll stick some random blurb in there, intending to write extensively on each topic, but I am lazy and so will do them all together with shorter blurbs. Here we go!!

Sun, Jul 29 2:30pm
c

I have no idea what this means. Perhaps it's a reminder as to how to start spelling my name? Perhaps I was about to note someone as a cunt? I really have no recollection of this. :T (This is my new favorite emoticon. Yes, I have a favorite emoticon. Sue me.²)

Fri, Jul 20 3:43pm
cool factor v. nerd v. angry

I think a friend and I were in the process of categorizing people we know. For the most part, everyone seemed to pretty clearly fall into cool or nerd, with very few straddling both.³ It was then pointed out that while I used to reside mostly in an angry place, I am now definitely in the nerd category. I accept that. It's not MY fault that they read In Her Shoes and I read The Zombie Survival Guide. When the zombies come, who'll be laughing then?! WHAT NOW, JERK?!

Mon, Oct 1 8:16pm
fake jt for cash!!!!

OHMIGOD. I was watching TV and suddenly Justin Timberlake is advertising for some quick cash loan deal. It was one of those places that tells you to put up your car for the loan, and then in fine print, there's like, 150% interest or something terrible like that. Anyways, after about two seconds it sinks in that this is NOT Justin, but a lookalike. Crazy. He even had the trying-too-hard stubble, off center fedora, and I think a vest that only Mr. Timberlake can wear without everyone assuming he's gay. In addition to that, the end of the commercial had this dude sitting at a grand piano. Do these people think Justin is a good loan sharking public spokesman? Are they targeting females from the ages of 10-25? Is that prime loan shark bait? Somehow, I really doubt this.

Upon reviewing the above summary, I really don't convey how amused I was. I was literally squealing with delight. It was awesome.

Thu, Jul 19 5:05pm
fupa is not business casual

So I'm walking to my ride home after work, which is around Judiciary Square, when I see what looks like a group of interns. They all look about 18-20, so I assume they were interns. They are wearing super business formal clothing for the most part, a little bit of business casual, so they were straddling that line. (Re: Tee Hee) It was not cute. A herd of poorly dressed things. A cacophony for the eyes, it was ill-fitting suits and bad shoes. Blech. Their queen, however, had FUPA hanging out of her suit jacket. It was, admittedly, a short jacket, but FUPA! And not just FUPA forcing her shirt to paunch out along with it. NAKED FUPA! Her shirt was also too short! NAKED FUPA at Judiciary Square! Terrible. My eyes still burn. I had to go stare at the Fall/Winter Balenciaga show to ease the pain.

Mon, May 28 4:12pm
level 1 aisle e

I must have gone to Tyson's Corner. Usually, I just take a picture of the sign with my camera phone, but I think I was (and still am) out of memory.

Mon, Jul 16 10:58 am
make a left at RECALCULATING ROUTE

I was in Philly and had to pick up a friend at an unfamiliar street. My phone's GPS got me there fine, but then we had to go to another unfamiliar area. At this point, satellites decided that they hate me when my phone spewed out this direction. How can I possibly make a left at recalculating route? I don't think that's a real street. Needless to say, I was sad and much pouting ensued. Luckily, I was able to find my way, but not without much sturm und drang. And, of course, more pouting.

Wed, Jul 11 7:34am
tweezing on the bus is a bad idea

That is all.


¹ Sorry, I'm in an especially random mood right now. Let's call it crazycornystrange.
² For real though. Please don't.
³ Tee hee. Straddle.