This is a Mokona keychain I think I got in maybe…1996? ’97? Something like that. But it really is the most adorable thing in life. And useful! This thing can generate anything you need from that jewel thing on its face. Hungry? It can make sandwiches. Tired? It’ll pop out a hotel! If only it existed in real life and not the crazy world of anime.
Hey kids? Remember this crazy contraption? It played “tapes” and could tune into the radio without any extra attachments? Yes, I know that this is before a lot of your times, so you need to understand that many of us in this world never heard of an mp3 until we were 14. Crazy, isn’t it? Here’s another bizarre aspect of this ancient version of the iPod: it uses batteries. None of that rechargeable shit. I know what you’re thinking: How did you live in those days? Those things can only hold like what? 100? 200 songs? I’m sorry to say, kids, that these can only play one tape at a time. So your audio storage was limited by the tapes. (Yes, I know they’re not sticky in any fashion, but that’s what they’re called. Tapes!) Well, how much did each tape hold, you ask. Perhaps 75 songs? Oh, child, no. We were not so lucky. Generally, if you made your own tape (the amazing, the beautiful, the meaningful mixtape), you could record around 90 minutes total. That’s right, kids! A whopping hour and a half of music! Appreciate those 60 Gig iPods! I used to lug around a backpack full of tapes to keep myself happy!*
So that’s it for today, kids. Here’s a summary for today’s lesson: Some things about anime should be real, appreciate your tiny little things that hold five thousand billion songs, and those vaguely Asian bracelets need to make a comeback.
* Coincidentally, I would do so whilst walking barefoot to school across razor blade roads and then through iodine rivers.