Tuesday, October 10, 2006

SRT #20

The Devil's Latest Endeavor

Crocs are perhaps the ugliest footwear to ever arise in the world of man. What asshole decided these things were attractive? Is it really necessary to wear horrible plastic abominations on your feet for the sake of comfort? I own approximately 50 pairs of comfortable shoes and none of them are ugly. In fact, none of them look like their materials were outsourced by PlaySkool. It is quite possible to be comfortable in good shoes, so don't try to tell me that this is the only thing that works.

On another note, these demons are supposed to be anti-bacterial. Now, I'm all for that, but want to know another way to avoid the bacteria? Keep your fucking feet clean! Wear the right socks with the right shoes! You don't need to wear antibiotics on your body. What the goddamnedshit?!

The worst offence, in my mind, is when these are worn in the workplace. I'm not going to tell you what to wear in the privacy of your home, but don't hurt my eyes with these demons.* When was it appropriate for hideous things to be worn in the office? This is actually the reason I've decided to speak out against these eyesores. I saw approximately 5 thousand pairs of these things today. Now, I work in DC, in the area famed for housing the largest and most powerful lobbyists. There are important/powerful people all over the place. Why would anyone in their right mind wear crocs here? Why!?
In the words of the immortal Tim Gunn:
I hate crocs. May they please go away.

I'm a visual learner.

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