Saturday, October 28, 2006

Who's On Your Team?

I just finished reading The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks. Half humor and half horror, it’s quite a good read, and I highly recommend it. While/after reading it, it got me thinking about who I would want with me in the event of a mass zombie infestation (or any other end of the world type scenario). Who do I know that would be useful in this situation?

Unfortunately, not too many people seem up for the task. I’ve been told that I would be good in an emergency simply because I generally have a knife and lighter with me at all times. So at least people would want me on their team. Also, I do have a tendency to try and figure out how everyday objects can be used as weapons.¹ So in case of zombie attack, pick me; I’m a good investment.

Who would I want on my team though? I’m going to stick with people in the tri-state area for the sake of convenience. My dad would be good for home base type operations. He’s low on mobility, but excellent at improvising in construction. Also, he can cook and do all of those outdoorsy type things that are helpful. I have a fake-me-out cousin who’s a doctor and in excellent shape. He’s totally in. Among my cousins, none are especially useful. I could probably take on one or two others, providing that all of us are able to stop acting like children in each others’ presence. However, they consist mostly of fatties and nerds who lack common sense/real world skills. Useful family members are lacking. Most are out, which is too bad, but shit happens.

Who else to recruit? I know a couple of sportsball type people and they could potentially be very useful. The thing about these dudes though is that they would most likely prove to have authority problems, which cannot exist when trying to survive the impending zombie invasion. They are second tier, providing they can demonstrate non-douchbag tendencies, in which case they will be bumped up to the top tier. Also, anyone I know that’s into guns/knows how to use guns has an automatic in.

In such an event, I will probably have to abandon my female friends.² I don’t need whining supply-whores who can’t fight and will most likely be unable to dispatch a zombie. Given whatever the situation may be, I might be able to bring a couple along. For example, if there is early warning and many of the obstacles that would impede a large group haven’t formed yet, I’d try to bring some along. Too bad that probably won’t be the case. It’s a shame.

In any case, I need to figure this out. I suggest you do the same.

¹ I get bored at class/work. Sue me.
² Sorry, guys.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LOL, yeah this is a pretty good book because it's humorous in such a serious "this could happen tomorrow" kind of way. I'm actually surprised you don’t have contingency plans already "drawn up". In college sitting around with friends having a few beers it was often fun to talk about contingencies for various emergency situations-we were always careful to include one dentist in our "team" though, a tooth ache can be debilitating and they also have decent medical training. btw: you have an actual doctor around? that could be useful...